[Antithesis] General Story Discussion

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by lcaddict on Fri May 07, 2010 2:10 am

Aranara wrote:
lcaddict wrote:I know it's stupid, but can some of her teammates be russian, so that me and Aranara could do some voices?
No, wait, Aranara has an amazing british accent. I don't have that accent, but russian accent is easy. And I can also do spanish accents.

1) My accent is not British, but thank you! *bear hug*
2) Yeah, Russian accents are easy for us...And I studied Russian for a few weeks.
3) I think we should stick with as little nationalities as possible, it will be weird if every character we create will have a different nationality.

Ah well, you're right. You always are:)

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Fri May 07, 2010 11:00 am

Anyhoo, let's start building a little back-story to our own Sgt Rae, shall we?
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by lcaddict on Fri May 07, 2010 11:48 am

She is british, but, has no idea about her past. End of story.




Ok, that's not the story.

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Fri May 07, 2010 11:49 am

lcaddict wrote:She is british, but, has no idea about her past. End of story.




Ok, that's not the story.

...I wouldn't have thought so.
Let me get a-composing a small one on Word once I've finished what I'm doing.
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dontbyvista on Sun May 09, 2010 3:41 pm

This is my perception on some of the characters and story in Antithesis. Smile It just popped into my mind

and I just needed to write it and share with you all. Comments will be nice.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
General Story layout for Antithesis (will need HEAVY revisions)

Main Characters

Valerie Rae
- Age: 27
Born: May 18, 1983
Height: 6.2ft
Ethnicity: (N/A, haven't thought of one yet)
Gender: Female (Obviously :p )

At the age of 5, Valerie Rae has always lived in a bad neighborhood as an only child, she cried at times,

wishing "the world could be better". Her father Gerald was a scientist. He was always obsessed with his

work, but when he got a chance, he took time out of the way to impress his daughter while saying to her

softly "daddy can meake the world better" Her father's experiments always brought joy to her life when

she was little. At the age of 15, her mother Rosa (most likely that name will change) died while coming

home from a long day of work. She was fatally shot in the chest by a hoodlum wanting some spare

money. This death brought much sadness and grief to both Gerald and Valerie. A few months later,

Gerald got abnormlly obsessed with his work. He rarely talked to valerie who was becoming much

more independant, and not very social herself. She learned to run everything herself, tend to all her

needs. The rare times when she and her father communicated were only to conversate about her mother.

Gerald would simply state "There's no need to worry yourself over anything". Valerie would simply

brush away from her father's kind words. 2 years later living in the run down establishment surrounded

by crime, valerie decided to join the RoTC (military instruction in high schools) in order to learn more

discipline and to "toughen herself up" as she would soon want to either leave her father behind and

pursue her own life and goals, or stay and try to bring order to the neighborhood. In 2001, Valerie

graduated from her high school, and earned a scholarship into the military. Her father paid for the rest

of the fees. At her graduation, her father spoke to her. "I love you, but, you're on your own now. Dont

forget me, and please visit whenever you need to" Valerie simply gave a small smile and went back to

her graduation celebration. After the following years and experience in the military, she was enducted

into the (have'nt thought of a name yet) special forces. From there on, she has vowed to stay in her

original hometown. She still pursues her goal to make things right.
A year later, her father disappears. She decides to visit her home to see the whole house ravaged. Only a

tiny note on what used to be her fathers desk saying "Valerie, today is going to be a special day."
She then recieves an urgent call from her officials. telling her to come down to the bay immediately...


-Gerald Rae
-Age: 45

Height: 6.0ft (yes, his daughter outgrown him )
Ethnicity: N/A
Gender: Male

Valerie's father. He was distant from his daughter after his wife's death. His obsession with his work

was due to it being a huge experiment. Something revolving "cloning" or something. He built alot of

models of buildings. All very clean, not gritty at all. The complete opposite of the world his daughter

lives in now. He vanished a few years after his daughters graduation.


And now the characters which are found out later in the story, there will be more, but I just cant think of

any)

-Valerie Fang
Age: N/A
Born: N/A
Height: 6.2ft
Gender: Female

Valerie Fang is a creation of "FATHER"
She lives in the alternate world, but however living without a father of her own. She has adapted great

intelligence and an aspiring interest in science. A man named as Gerald (yes, the same Gerald) is known

to her as sort of a father as they have been sort of close. The world she lives in is a direct replica of

Valerie Rae's world. Except it is clean, no crime, or so to speak of.
During one of her trials of experiment, she finds a strong "bond" or connection to the "real world" she

delves deeper into this world through her experiments. Gerald, the ruler of the alternate world has

slowly been driven to insanity, due to the sterilized world with no trouble what so ever. He longs to

return home, but realizes that it is not a possibility. He acts as if Valerie Fang is his real duaghter, and

not just part of the replica, along with all the other citizens being a "replica" of the others in the real

world. Except the opposite. Gerald's turn to insanity has had a negative effect on the alternate world.

Everyone else is feeling the same effects of the insanity and are soon driven to civil war. Gerald

commands his "daughter" to destroy the "real world".He belives this will make things right. This of

course, will destroy everyone in the alternate world and the real world, except for both valerie's and

gerald. (Valerie Fang belives if she kills herself, she would kill her opposite. But killing herself would

have no effect on Valerie Rae)

Near the end of the story, Valerie Rae confronts her opposite. They battle, after Valerie is severly

weakened, her opposite reaches for a knife, and stabs herself in the heart. She smiles, but then looks in

shock a few seconds before her death when she realizes that Valerie Rae is still alive. The real Valerie

then confronts her father who has been missing for many years. Of course, this is not the father that

Valerie used to know. This is an insane and curropted Gerald. Her real father whose obsession with

science drove him to this state. He scolds at her, saying that she let her sister (Valerie Fang is Valerie

Rae's sister in Geralds twisted mind) die. But then smiles and says, "It's alright, remember I love you,

but you're on your own now. You have to make your decision. Kill me, your father, and save your oh

so precious world, and destroy my masterpiece. Or, (Gerald then swipes Valerie's gun from her hand

and points it directly to her) die like your mother and let this world thrive." Valerie is shocked beyond

belief. She almost falls to the ground. Gerald then says. "Fine, since I am your father I'll make the

choice myself" He then shoots at Valeries head, but misses. Valerie realizes that this isnt her father

anymore, and that she would rather save her friends and the rest of the inhabitants of the "real world"

She battles, and ends up killing him. The alternate world is in a firey inferno, and she is transported back

to the real world where she is greeted with the remainder of the special forces. (Some of them got killed

off) They then fight off the remainder of curropted beasts Valerie Fang and Gerald had sent off into the

real world.




end.


D:
Again, this is just my perception, comments are very much welcomed. Along with critisism. (spelling...)

Very Happy
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Woody543 on Sun May 09, 2010 3:54 pm

Not really read through it in depth, but my first criticism, is with Valerie's fucked up childhood. Does she need such a childhood trauma? All seems a little cliché, especially the whole mother dying.


Edit----------------

6ft 2! Damn! She's tall!

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dontbyvista on Sun May 09, 2010 4:16 pm

Woody543 wrote:Not really read through it in depth, but my first criticism, is with Valerie's fucked up childhood. Does she need such a childhood trauma? All seems a little cliché, especially the whole mother dying.


Edit----------------

6ft 2! Damn! She's tall!


Yes she is tall :p
I thought it was a reasonable height, but I can change it.

And I wanted her mothers death to be inspiration for what she decides to do with her life. I thought a death would fit in an urban gritty setting. Either way those were my ideas. Anyone is free to post their scenarios I think.
Thanks for the comments, but I advise you read all of it Wink
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Sun May 09, 2010 4:18 pm

I think it's a good concept to have a grounding on, but as Woody said, the mother dying might be a bit cliche.

Maybe we could think of another motivation?
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by lcaddict on Tue May 11, 2010 11:29 am

In my opinion this is really good!
The only thing that confuses me is when Fang kills herself and Rae won't die.
This means that Fang isn't a replica of her. Because if she was, Rae should die to. This means that Fang is Rae's sister, not her replica/doppelganger.
No offence.

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Woody543 on Tue May 11, 2010 11:54 am

^^ The idea is that they both die.

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by lcaddict on Tue May 11, 2010 11:55 am

Woody543 wrote:^^ The idea is that they both die.
Never read that..:pi:

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Tue May 11, 2010 12:28 pm

lcaddict wrote:
Woody543 wrote:^^ The idea is that they both die.
Never read that..:pi:

...It's dotted around the place Razz
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by lcaddict on Tue May 11, 2010 12:28 pm

Lara c. fan wrote:
lcaddict wrote:
Woody543 wrote:^^ The idea is that they both die.
Never read that..:pi:

...It's dotted around the place Razz

Riiiight..

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Tue May 11, 2010 12:29 pm

lcaddict wrote:
Riiiight..

It is, seriously.
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dontbyvista on Tue May 11, 2010 6:10 pm

lcaddict wrote:In my opinion this is really good!
The only thing that confuses me is when Fang kills herself and Rae won't die.
This means that Fang isn't a replica of her. Because if she was, Rae should die to. This means that Fang is Rae's sister, not her replica/doppelganger.
No offence.

I was implying that Rae and Fang had a different type of bond. Its all real confusing, but since Rae and Fang both are "daughters" to Gerald, their alters wont die if they were to kill themselves. Doesn't make much since I know. Suspect
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by lcaddict on Wed May 12, 2010 1:57 am

Dontbyvista wrote:
lcaddict wrote:In my opinion this is really good!
The only thing that confuses me is when Fang kills herself and Rae won't die.
This means that Fang isn't a replica of her. Because if she was, Rae should die to. This means that Fang is Rae's sister, not her replica/doppelganger.
No offence.

I was implying that Rae and Fang had a different type of bond. Its all real confusing, but since Rae and Fang both are "daughters" to Gerald, their alters wont die if they were to kill themselves. Doesn't make much since I know. Suspect
Well that's kinda what I was trying to say: if they were real sister and one would've killed herself, the other one wouldn't have died. If Fang was her replica, than Rae should've died too. So this means that Fang should be Rae's sister. Cool And Fang needs another name. Like Victoria Fang, so they are both with a "V" Cool Cool

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Sat May 15, 2010 3:35 pm

^Could work, I guess.
We'd also need alternate names for every single character Very Happy

Also, I'm guessing it was Chris who sorted out the quotes, so heap admiration on him Razz
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Woody543 on Sun May 16, 2010 4:54 am

Lara c. fan wrote:^Could work, I guess.
We'd also need alternate names for every single character Very Happy

Also, I'm guessing it was Chris who sorted out the quotations, so heap admiration on him Razz

Fixed poor english.

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Sun May 16, 2010 6:42 am

Woody543 wrote:
Lara c. fan wrote:^Could work, I guess.
We'd also need alternate names for every single character Very Happy

Also, I'm guessing it was Chris who sorted out the quotations, so heap admiration on him Razz

Fixed poor english.

Oh, shush you! Razz
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Woody543 on Sun May 16, 2010 7:56 am

Sorry, the whole quote/quotation thing is the biggest of my pet peeves when it comes to incorrect grammar.

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Sun May 16, 2010 7:56 am

Woody543 wrote:Sorry, the whole quote/quotation thing is the biggest of my pet peeves when it comes to incorrect grammar.

I was tired at that point, you'll have to excuse me from it Razz
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dontbyvista on Sat May 22, 2010 1:30 pm

I admit, this is a bump.

But does anyone else have their general ideas to share?
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Sat May 22, 2010 1:31 pm

Dontbyvista wrote:I admit, this is a bump.

But does anyone else have their general ideas to share?

Not your fault, the place went dead...

Anyway, I think we have a good basic story, we just need a few details filled in.
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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Woody543 on Sat May 22, 2010 5:17 pm

Sorry I'm not active, it's exam central for me atm.

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Re: [Antithesis] General Story Discussion

Post by Dantdj on Sat May 22, 2010 5:18 pm

Woody543 wrote:Sorry I'm not active, it's exam central for me atm.

Gotcha, no worries Woody Smile
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